Korean Haircut How-to

Despite my deep-rooted and lasting desire to grow my hair "mermaid long", I recently submitted myself to my first Korean haircut. Hot dog, was it ever an experience. After asking my ever-so-helpful ko-teacher to write down the Korean translation for "trim", only to have her write down what google translate later revealed as "big cut", I venture out into the mean streets of Yeosu in search of a hair salon. This was probably the easiest mission ever since "hair clubs" dot the streets of Korea like hole-in-the-wall restaurants. So, in I walk. I check my umbrella at the door; as is the custom in Korea, where during monsoon season every and all salon/restaurant/store has an umbrella condom machine and receptacle at the entry. I am then greeted by the nicest and least English-speaking personnel. Win. Here, I engage my inner Korean and drop a bow and a greeting on them before basically exhausting my knowledge of Hangul by saying "조금". This means 'little'. When paired with sign language, I am sure that this adequately expresses my desire for a trim and my aversion to "big cut".

I sit in the chair, and the I am introduced to my stylist. He is at once the most effeminate and heterosexual man I have EVER met. His scissors, combs, and blow dryer call a bejeweled HOLSTER at his hip their home. And really, why wouldn't they?

Then, he gets to work on the cut. One man, 5 pairs of scissors. Hair in my face for the duration. I have no idea whether or not my broken Hangul and sweet gesturing has indeed conveyed my desire for "just a little off the ends", I start to worry that my Ko has phoned ahead to ensure that I leave with a Korean bowl-cut..

The hair is parted, I still have hair. Phewf. Thinking the fun is over, I stand and start to walk towards the counter. Too soon, first, I am supposed to follow an underage child worker into the back to have my hair washed. Slightly backwards by my standards, but hey, in Korea you do call 119 in case of emergency. So, I sit down and put my head in the sink behind me. It is now that my height becomes a problem in Korea. Again. Sweet sassy molassy, is that sink ever far from where my shoulders naturally sit. No matter, I'll power through.

Then, following the wash that followed the cut, comes the towel dry -this preteen girl has her WAY with my ears. She sticks her fingers right in there. It was not entirely unpleasant, though she may have made contact with my brain, thus robbing me of my ability to do basic math. I am ushered back to the first chair, and my super-fem hair dresser is fetched from his smoke break. No less than 3 asians with no less than 5 blow dryers between them get going on my hair. Korean efficiency is real. Hair dry, my stylist shoos away his help and proceeds to curl my whole head of hair.

When all is said and done, I saunter questioningly over to the counter. I only have about 50, 000 won in my wallet, so I reach for my bank card and don't even try to decipher what price she tells me before handing it over. I get the receipt, fully prepared for the whole song and dance to amount to anything over 50, 000. Not a chance. 12, 000 won and a "trim" later, I walk out of the salon with the nicest hair I've had since prom...into a monsoon.

Double win.

latentryaboutheworldcup

Yeah, Korea's been out of the World Cup for a a while now. Both Koreas, in fact. But since the World Cup itself is still recent enough to be relevant to the world via the many who care and the few who've since jumped on the bandwagon, I figured that I still had a window to write about Korea's showing.
To be fair, I honestly never even noticed the WC before I moved to Korea for this one. I had heard the words 'World Cup' before, but as far as my life goes, I was only familiar in terms of the school yard game by the same name, wherein teams of two adopt the name of a country and try to score on the same net as many other teams of two who've adopted the namesakes of other countries. It should probably be noted that Canada was not a popularly chosen country to represent among those playing this game.

Above is a photo of me watching the Korea vs. Uruguay game in Busan. It was pouring. In Korea, there is a country-wide belief that rain causes one to melt. But seriously, Koreans fear the rain like a mother. Which is hilarious because they have a Monsoon SEASON. But anyways, even the monsoon couldn't keep the Koreans off of the beach, where they gathered in droves and in ponchos.

Big Rock in the ROK?

Marc Prymack, this one's for you.

Father Dearest,
this past weekend I travelled mostly far, but somewhat wide. I went all the way to Cheongju to act as part of the fan base of a Waygooken Rugby team for a tournament. The tournament was good. Watching the games was awesome, seeing more of Korea was awesome, the company was awesome. But mostly, dearest papa, it was wonderful because way over here in a small city south of Seou,l I came across a most wondrous thing. Rock Creek Cider on tap. That's right. Big Rock product is available in South Korea right from the tap. It might have come a few days late, but I will forever count this among one of the few true Canada Day miracles.

My refuge from fish stench and fruit trucks.

This is where I live.

It is rather large and filled

with nominal amounts of black mold.

Closet, "magic" room, and view from the front door.

*absent: Meth-lab stove, computer/faux-suede futon/AQUARIUM room.

'glamour' and 'maybe' according to Koreans.

Ah, Korea. True, they are the Asian country that spends the most per-capita on English education. However, they remain the least proficient. This is evident in the way that the sign outside my very classroom is misspelled. Expanding on this idea, let me educate you further on English's standing in this here country. For starters, there are some English words that Koreans all know. Words like: cute (pronounced cutie), beautiful (pronounced beautipuhr), love (pronounced luh-be), and so on. While these words are often mispronounced, the understanding of their meaning is on target. Such is NOT the case with the following words in particular: 'glamour' and 'maybe.'

Okay, believe it or don't, it is first necessary that you know how important volleyball is here. School is let out early on Wednesdays for it. Here it is important that you know that Koreans REALLY like school. So, yeah. Big deal. Lucky me! I am literally the closest thing to Kobe Bryant that my school has ever seen in terms of athletic ability. When I dove for the first time, my principal's heart may have literally stopped. Okay, now be amazed as I link volleyball to the topic of glamour.

Turns out, I got to Korea just in time to play in the ultimate Yeosu-wide volleyball showdown. Sweet. We get team jerseys for said showdown. Also sweet. Along comes a shy Korean woman on the volleyball team to explain to me the school-wide concern about me having a shirt that would fit. Direct quote: "You not fat....just...you so glamourous." Looking beyond the obvious best-news-ever (I'm not fat by Korean standards! woooot, woot!) I am told, largely via gesturing, that 'glamour' means boobs. Straight. Up. The day I learned that this indeed was the Korean interpretation of the word was the day that I started hearing that word eevvvvvverrrywhere I went. To be fair, in Korea, Calista Flockhart might be 'glamourous' by Korean standards. Cutting to the chase - the shirt they ordered me was an XL. It is shown above. It was still a crop-top when I served, blocked, hit, or breathed. Win.

Moving on from 'glamour' to 'maybe.' Basically, in Korea is means 'yes.' Pretty much absolutely, at that. Even though it is said with an upward inflection at the end. It can be terribly misleading.

"Do I have to pay my own bills?" "Maybe?"

"Can I go now then?" "Maybe?"

......shuffle awkwardly out the door.

Jeollanamdon't mind if I do!

And, while I do love Yeosu in all of it's obvious glory, I take every opportunity to explore more of the province. This is largely because at the end of a one-week orientation, I was chucked solo into Yeosu and my friends and fellow waygooks were scattered far and wide. As such, it is awesomely easy to justify weekly visits to other pockets of Jeollanamdo. By the way, family and friends from home and environs; I no longer pronounce it Jello-lando....at least when sober.

Highlights of my ventures thus far include a trip to Mokpo for some fireworks and to rub shoulders with the Mokpo's finest. The latter is meant to include the likes of my friends who live there, and also the actual police. Ahem. We then took a ferry that smelled not at all of fish to what is known as "the love island". It was there that I felt too modest to wear just a bikini and thought it necessary to wear a large piece of seaweed as a cheeky skirt.

So, I've been to some beach parties, some house parties..and a good deal of Mini Stop parties. And, while it's hard to pick favourites; the novelty of pounding back some cheap as booze in public under a parasol, while summoning Korean locals who may, or may not, be of age to join in, has not yet worn off.

Yo, Sue!

Thought I'd break the ice with the following charming display. This is a pen-holder. The necessity of which is in itself questionable. But, hey. Any excuse to have such a quaint and not at all untoward feature on display somewhere in a public place. What makes this all the better is that this was on display directly in front of the cash register at what was nothing more than a coffee and ice cream joint. Children were present. Nay. Prevalent.

So the city that I live in is a charming hamlet by Korean standards, but really it's a city of around 300, 000. So, though it is not a booming metropolis, it suits me just fine. Maybe this is because of the fine balance that it strikes by having sweet beaches (of both white and black sand) and a Korean night club that eagerly hosts my shenanigans and those of the friends that I have met here. All of whom are beyond d-o-p-e: dope, by the way.

To the left of the page you see me on MY beach. Yes. MY beach. I have written the necessary letter to the government of Yeosu and they're seeing to the name change as we speak. For now, it is called Mosageum, which I guess is cool too.