Servicee

In English, service can mean a lot of things. If English is your first language, you can vouch for me when I say that none of these various meanings is synonymous with "free." Think again, chingus! Here in the Land of the Morning Calm, it means just that. When first I experienced this bastardized form of the word it was in a context that was confusing as all hell. It was at a Korean BBQ restaurant and a waiter brought a few bottles of Cider over to my table saying "servicee". I thought: no subtlety there, this young buck thinks he's giving excellent service and is pointing it out in the hopes of a tip, fair enough. I mean, before leaving for Korea I had read enough sources to indicate that the Korean grasp on nuance wasn't the most developed. However, I had read and heard form the same sources that tipping in Korea was a faux pas. How worldly this young gentleman must then be to be extorting a foreigner for gratuities! Not. The. Case. In reality, we were being given free cider. A welcome alternative and a great welcome to Korea!

Such random acts of servicee (herein after referred to as RAS) have peppered my time here. It will happen when you least expect it and oftentimes the items that are doled out as servicee are completely random and often of no relation to the situation or the purchase pre-cursing it. In Canada, sometimes when the gas station overcharges you for a bottle of water, they will throw in a free chocolate bar. Bonus! Maybe it will be beyond its allocated shelflife and the kind shopkeeper thinks that the bottle of water will be just the thing to wash it down. These two items are related. In Korea, maybe you'll run into a Ministop to replenish your beer supply and BANG; RAS! Tuna. A single can. Beer and tuna would be hard to associate using even the '7 degrees of Kevin Bacon' method! Never mind the fact that I was, on the occasion in question, in the midst of drinking said beers at the quaint table and chairs just beyond the doors of the Ministop. I mean, the cashier knew I wasn't going home. And if her intention was that I eat it with my beer, she might have been so kind as to provide me with disposable chopsticks like she did that one time when I bought yogurt. On that particular day I received two counts of RAS to the tune of the aforementioned chopsticks and the subsequent lip slivers.

So, yes. This falls under the "Things I will miss" section of the final countdown. When at home I begin being denied free upgrades and random items after shooting people a profile highlighting my 'high nose' or making my biggest 'round eyes', I simply don't know what I'll do.
I mean, I have not paid for toilet paper this year! And it's always been the classy, scented, animated kind. You know, the kind that's been long outlawed in North America for irritating a certain delicate pH balance, if you know what I mean. If you don't, that's cool too. Probably for the best. Vaginas are weird. I mean...