Back to school, back to school, to prove to mom I'm not a fool.

Welcome, March 2nd; the first day of a new school year in Korea! It's a new season and there is a fresh batch of grade 7 boys who welcome me to the school with screams as though they are all Justin Bieber fans and that I am the Bieby himself.

If only cowbell could cure this particular fever.

This, first day of the 2011 school year, was full of fun things. Some of which fall into the "Things I Will Miss" category while other things (and people) will belong in the "Things I Won't Miss" column. I will of course miss the waygook-fever and the fact that my new Vice Principal is an ex-English teacher who will understand me when I am sent to him with all of my questions and concerns by a co-teacher whose biggest job seems to be saying "oh, really?" whenever I tell her that I don't speak Korean. To her credit, she does this rather well.

I will not miss the incomprehensible lack of logic and/or organization that characterizes my daily life in a Public Korean Middle School. No, no I can't tell what my schedule is after sitting in on the staff meeting conducted entirely in Korean; no, no I don't think that it is a good idea to replace the only English computer in the school with a Korean one the day that school starts and leave the boxes from the new one and remnants of the old one strewn about the English lab. Yes, yes I do think that the previously mentioned action renders my desk-warming time, during which I was supposed to plan this semester's classes, even more useless than its very name suggests. Everything that I saved on that computer is obviously gone, baby, gone. And, though I honestly didn't do any planning over the break, I had 10 months of powerpoints and lessons from last year on it, so I'm still chalking it up as a loss. A huge one. One that might drive me to drink.

It seems worth mentioning that as of 5 p.m. on this, the fateful first day of a whole new year, I have yet to be given any direction as to what I am supposed to be doing today, this week, or the rest of the year. I have missed lunch because there are no bells today since the schedule is different. Isn't a different schedule a good reason to employ the use of bells? No, probably not. After missing lunch, I got a call on my hand pone from my co-worker (not co-teacher, never my co-teacher) asking where I was and saying that he was looking for me. Cool. You know where he didn't look? The only place that I ever am. Bitch ain't got nothing on Nancy.

drip, drip, drop

So, this one time, when my friend from home was visiting:

We were slightly sleep deprived and very much used to spending time on buses. During one such bus trip, while on the way to Gwangju from Yeosu (a common leg, for me), we fell asleep for the majority of the trip. I was awoken, rather rudely, while Becca slept on beside me. As for what woke me up, there is no delicate way to put it. I was woken up by the sound of a constant stream of urine being expelled by the man next to me into a plastic bag. In his defense, I think he thought I was sleeping; I was wearing shades, after all. In my defense, I was not sleeping, and ewwwwwwwww.

Absence makes the heart grow...indifferent?

Though I must say that I had initial reservations about my ability to maintain a blog, I will admit that I harboured hope that I might become addicted to it like I am internet television. Wrong. My apologies to the few (father...) people who attempt to keep tabs on me by following my blog. Turns out you keep up with it more than I. I will now, for the umpteenth time since undertaking this blog, promise to try to do better. You know, for the 2 months that I have left.

Speaking of the 2 months I have left - I ONLY HAVE TWO MONTHS LEFT! What gives, Father Time; you sneaky, speedy bitch? In all fairness, one could hardly argue that I did nothing to speed it along as I have crammed a hell of a lot of Korea into my year here, taking less than 3 weekends off in the whole of the year. It is my shock that I have mustered such stamina at my ripe, old age that causes me to brag about such numbers. Proudly, I have not said 'no' to a weekend's festivities due to dwindling funds or lengthy bus rides to and from. Not once. As a result, I have seen a lot of Korea and a lot more of Asia than I thought would be possible with the relatively limited amount of vacation days that I am granted in my contract. Have I lost a lot of sleep? Yes. Have I slept in ill-advised places? Yes.

Have I gone against doctors' orders and boarded an air-conditioned bus while suffering pneumonia just to make it to a Tigers' game and be busted by my school by being on TV? Yes.

Am I positive that photos of mine and my friends' shenanigans will land us on a promotional banner or website for one of the festivals we ravaged? Quite.

Will these same photos be sufficient in foiling my plans of running for office in the future? Most definitely.

While it is all well and good to applaud myself for the life I've squeezed in to the past 10+ months, all I can focus on is what I need to cram into these next 2. For example, I need to post entries on this here bloog about my trips to Malaysia and Indonesia. I also need to show my big brosephine a hella good time during his short stay here and then regroup for my parents' arrival at the end of my contract. I also need to log face time with the friends I have made over the course of the past year. A certain couple of ladies have either kept me from losing my sanity or lost theirs right along with me; allowing me to remain sane, at least comparatively. Mercifully, these two lovelies are both from Canada and I have little doubt that I will see them again in the future, though likely not as soon or as often as I would like. As for the other people that I have met and not hated, I think I should see them in the future as well, both the Canadians and otherwise. The Canadians because I travel the True North Strong and Free side-to-side a good deal, and those from abroad because I live in the world's best country and who wouldn't want to visit? Jerks, that's who.

Going back to the beginning of this entry where I halfheartedly promise to be more (at all) vigilant about updating this beginner’s blog: from now on, I am just going to enter little anecdotes about Korea and label them as things that I will either miss, or not miss, about Korea.

Number 1:

I will miss the way cabbies see foreign fares as a way of getting free English lessons.

This particular point falls under both headings because sometimes this situation is awesome and sometimes it makes me want to tuck and roll out the cab, ya' heard? It is awesome when the cabbie in question already speaks a tiny bit of English and tries to communicate with you and prompt you for pointers on pronunciation while you struggle through his/her valiant attempt at actual verbal exchange. It is terrible then the cabbie in question speaks no English, asks if you speak Korean, to which you respond "no," all while becoming increasingly heated while yelling at you in Korean and asking for English translations. To premise, I maintain that Hangul really is the German of Asian languages and whatever it is that he or she is saying sound a lot like threats and verbal attacks.